[00:00:00] Melissa Kellogg Lueck: [00:00:00] Welcome. I am Marketing Expert and Business Coach Melissa Kellogg Lueck, and this is the Doing Business Like a Woman podcast, where we are exploring and teaching you how women are reinventing the way business is done and money is made to help you create greater impact and financial freedom, one business at a time.
[00:00:27] Melissa: Good morning. Good morning, or good afternoon. How are you ladies? I hope you're doing well. I wanted to host this mini masterclass for you this morning because here we are in Q4, right? And I know for many of us, it's been a tough year. But I also know that it's not too late, it's not too late to end this year feeling great, feeling great about yourself and your business and how you showed [00:01:00] up.
[00:01:00] Melissa: And so one thing that I have been hearing from a lot of women that I talk to is, you know, asking them, asking me like, how do I. Build that stamina, that resilience, that grit to keep showing up. And it's not even just about showing up in your business, but it's about showing up in your marketing too, right?
[00:01:24] Melissa: So. That's what I wanna talk with you about today, and in case we don't know each other yet, my name's Melissa Kellogg Lueck and I am a marketing coach and consultant for women entrepreneurs. And I have been doing this work for 20 years. I've been building my own business for 20 years, and so I know. What this entrepreneurial journey is like I always say it's like the personal growth journey that we never asked for, right?
[00:01:55] Melissa: So here we are, my friends. And whether this has [00:02:00] been a tough year for you or a great year for you I know you're gonna get something out of what I have to share with you today because we all have good days. We all have bad days. We all. Want to grow our ca capacity and our capability to show up bigger for ourselves and our businesses and for our communities, our families.
[00:02:22] Melissa: So that's what we're gonna be talking about today. So I have some notes here. So, so when you are, so the problem that I often see and what a lot of women will ask me about. Is that, you know, how do you keep showing up? How do you keep going when things are hard, right? And what may some people may often think that I would say, oh, well, you know, it's about just staying positive and, you know creating [00:03:00] that positive attitude.
[00:03:01] Melissa: And yes, that's part of it, but, you know, and I think oftentimes what happens when we are having a tough time in our life, in our business you know, if we've got a relationship breakup or you know you're dealing with family issues and illness and diagnoses, whatever. These things come up for all of us, right?
[00:03:24] Melissa: We all have things happen in our lives. Those are our, we all have circumstances and situations that are happening, and so a lot of times what happens is, yes, we're not gonna give up on our business. Or we might feel like it sometimes, right? But we're not gonna give up on our business. But oftentimes it's hard to show up in our marketing, right?
[00:03:46] Melissa: We feel like we have to be positive and, you know, we can't go out and be marketing if we're not feeling positive. And we don't wanna be sharing our problems, you know, that's not attractive to clients and money, [00:04:00] whatever. And that's not necessarily true. I mean, yeah, you don't have to go and air all of your dirty laundry at all times, but there is something to be said for being real.
[00:04:12] Melissa: And so in these times, how do you continue? How do you continue for, not just for your business, but how do you continue to show up in your marketing? And so really what it takes is having perspective. And what that means is I want you to remember that no matter what is happening in your life, in your business, no matter how this year is going, or.
[00:04:36] Melissa: You know whether it's going well, going not you are not your circumstances, you are not the situation that you're in, right? You also are not your thoughts, right? You always get to choose and what you choose [00:05:00] creates your reality. So. I wanna give you some permission. This was, has always been helpful for me and just encourage you to be real about where you're at.
[00:05:15] Melissa: Be real that this time is hard, be real, that this year has been difficult. Be real, that the circumstances swirling around you are feeling overwhelming. You can be real about that. There's nothing wrong with that, right? Because what that does is it allows us to connect with our truth, right? Connect with the truth of what's going on around us.
[00:05:44] Melissa: And so you can acknowledge the hard, but that doesn't mean you have to get swallowed up in the hard, right? Because also you get to choose how you want to experience your life and your business. Even [00:06:00] in the hard, you still get to choose what you want to think and what you want to feel about. The hard times and the difficulties.
[00:06:11] Melissa: And when we do that, that's what helps us build stamina, resilience, and grit. And so, I just kind of jumped in, right? Say hello, if you are with me today. I'm really glad to see you all here and thank you so much for, for coming and being with me. I just as I was preparing for this, I was having a cup of coffee and here my cup of coffee and.
[00:06:39] Melissa: Reading through my notes and I just got so fired up. So then good morning, Monique. Then when I turned on the turned on the camera, I just was like, ready to roll. So that's what's happening. But what I first wanna do is define for you what stamina, resilience, and grit mean. So stamina [00:07:00] is the strength to stay in the game.
[00:07:03] Melissa: To keep showing up with purpose and energy, even when the path gets long. It's not about never getting tired or overwhelmed or whatever we might be going through. It's about fueling yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically so that you can go the distance in pursuit of what matters most to you.
[00:07:28] Melissa: So that's stamina. Resilience is your ability to rise, to adapt, to keep moving forward. Even after challenges, step backs or detours. It's like you just keep getting up and you keep going, right? It's the I don't know the where it comes from, but that saying that you fall down six times and you get up seven, right?
[00:07:52] Melissa: It's the inner knowing that every obstacle creates wisdom. And that you have the power to turn adversity [00:08:00] into growth. And then grit is the fierce, passionate determination to keep believing, keep working, and keep leading even when the results aren't immediate. That's the grit. Just kind of like in the arena, I think of Brene Brown, if you guys are Brene Brown fans, the in the arena of, you know, I'm getting bloodied and getting slapped around by my circumstances, but I still get up the morning.
[00:08:35] Melissa: Lila, good to see you. So, so that's what we're working towards. That's what we want to keep thinking about, the stamina, the resilience, the grit to keep going, right? And we're talking about Q4 today, but this is at all times in our business, right? So how do we do that? I have seven steps for you [00:09:00] today.
[00:09:01] Melissa: And it really is about intentionally creating the experience that you want to have. While you're in the heart. You get to create that experience. You, we can't control the circumstances, the situations we might find ourselves in. We can't always control those. But what we can control is our experience in them.
[00:09:24] Melissa: Do we, we get to choose, do we wanna use this this hard to build us up, to make us stronger? Or do we wanna let it tear us down? Do we want to be stuck and stagnant in these times? Or do we want to rise? And if we wanna rise, we can. We have that choice. And that is hard, but it is possible and you can do hard things.
[00:09:50] Melissa: Okay, so what do you have to do? I have seven steps for you today. I think there's seven. But number one is, and I have my little cards, [00:10:00] you have to know what you desire, right? When you're in the hard you. The hard the challenges are always our invitation for growth, right? So if you're in a hard time, it is your invitation for growth.
[00:10:19] Melissa: Do you want the growth? What do you desire? Do you want to overcome this? Do you want to learn how to get better to improve? Right? What is your desire? And be able to state it. I most desire to build a million dollar business or whatever it is I most desire. For me, it's like I most desire to help thousands and thousands of women create freedom through entrepreneurship.
[00:10:50] Melissa: I really desire that and I really will. That's what I desire. What do you desire? Share with me if you want to. Okay, so first [00:11:00] you gotta know what you desire. Do. Are you up for this? Do you want to accept this challenge? Because in the challenge is the growth, but you have to have the desire to walk through it, right?
[00:11:11] Melissa: It doesn't mean it's not gonna be hard. It doesn't mean that yeah, you desire it. But it's like me with my, I am started a new, workout challenge this month in October. And do I always feel like putting on my workout clothes and going and lifting no day in and day out? I don't feel like it, but I really desire to build the strength and the longevity in my body through growing my muscles, right?
[00:11:39] Melissa: So that I really desire. So I'm ready for the challenge. Okay? And then number two is you got to choose. What you wanna believe, right? So there's always a decision point where, and this happens, can happen daily, can happen moment by moment. We [00:12:00] always have an opportunity to decide what we wanna believe about a circumstance.
[00:12:05] Melissa: So say for example you have had you know, your revenue is half of what you wanted it to be by this point in the year. And so you get to choose. So that's a circumstance, right? That's just a fact. You had a goal of a hundred K and it's now 50 K, and you wanted it to be at a hundred K, right? You know, by this time of the year, and it's not.
[00:12:29] Melissa: So that's a fact. You get to decide what you wanna believe about that circumstance. Right. Do you wanna believe that you know, it's because of the economy or it's because I am terrible at what I do. I shouldn't be in this work. I'm the worst. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, are those things you really wanna believe whether they're true or not?
[00:12:55] Melissa: You get to decide what you most want to believe. [00:13:00] Right. What do you most wanna believe about the work, about that desire that you have? So, for me, I want, I most wanna believe that there are thousands and thousands of women. That want to learn marketing so that they can spread their message, spread their impact, and make more money.
[00:13:20] Melissa: Right? I really want to believe that, and I do believe that, but you have to decide that of what you want to believe about your circumstance. Okay. Okay. And then so you know what you desire. We always have that opportunity to decide what we want to believe and then what we wanna believe about the circumstance and what we wanna believe, what we wanna make it mean about us.
[00:13:52] Melissa: I think that's really, I. An important point is what do we wanna make this circumstance mean about us? Does [00:14:00] do I wanna make it mean that I suck at being an entrepreneur and I don't know how to sell and I don't know how to market? You know, is that gonna serve us? Is that really going to make us better?
[00:14:10] Melissa: Right? So choose your beliefs carefully, right? And then. Once you choose, and this is a moment by moment, daily thing. I do this daily, right? And so once you know what you want to believe, you need to build that belief daily, right? Build your belief. Nurture your belief daily. So this takes practice, and I do this every day.
[00:14:43] Melissa: I am examining where my belief is every day. I examine, you know, and really what that is for me is journaling. Like, I will basically just do a brain dump of everything that's going on in my mind. I will [00:15:00] get it out on paper. It helps me to gain that perspective, to step back and look at what's on the paper and be like, oh, is this really what I wanna believe today?
[00:15:09] Melissa: Is this empowering? Is this going to keep me in action and keep me, going towards, you know, is this going to feed my stamina and my resilience and my grit? And if the answer is no, then it's my invitation to change those thoughts. Right? So examine where your belief is lacking. Listen to the doubts. I, I know so often we feel like we want to resist the negativity or resist the doubt.
[00:15:38] Melissa: Don't resist it. Listen to it because whatever you resist will persist. Right? You've heard that before. So don't resist those, that negativity. Listen to it. Write, you know, write it all out. Those are all doubts that are coming up, and it's okay. It's okay to have doubt. We're all gonna have doubts, [00:16:00] so listen to the doubt.
[00:16:01] Melissa: But then what I want you to do is have. A defense argument. It's like in a courtroom, right? So the doubt, the doubt is like playing the part of the prosecution and it's telling you, you shouldn't be doing this. You suck. This is never gonna work. Or whatever the doubts are saying, right? But then you've gotta give airtime to the defense.
[00:16:25] Melissa: What does the defense say? Because there are beliefs also inside of you, thoughts also inside of you that can defend a against every single one of those doubts. So identify the those and decide to spend more time thinking those thoughts from the defense. Right? So yeah, we spend a lot of time thinking about all the ways that this isn't gonna work.
[00:16:58] Melissa: There's also ways that it [00:17:00] is gonna work, that it could work, that it could all work out, that this could be a success. There's reasons for that too. So just decide, I want to spend more time with those thoughts that are for the defense. Right. And. It's almost like you become skilled at selling yourself on your doubts.
[00:17:22] Melissa: And when you do that, it actually translates really well to being in sales situations and sales conversations. When people bring up objections or doubts to working with you, you are like, oh, this is no problem. I can explain it to you 'cause I have explain this to myself, you know, a hundred times over, right?
[00:17:42] Melissa: And so once you do that. When you have taken the opportunity to gain the perspective, decide what you want to be thinking and believing, you will inevitably, if you've really examined the [00:18:00] doubts and have a comeback for them, you'll inev inevitably feel an a shift in your energy. And for me, it's like it happens pretty quickly.
[00:18:12] Melissa: And. In floods a lot of ideas, ideas and creativity will start to flow, right? And so when you feel that energy shift, you're gonna create your energy shift. So when you've created your energy shift I want you to, to turn your focus to the people that can most benefit and most be served by your work.
[00:18:39] Melissa: Right. So once you feel that energy shift think about the people that you serve. What are, what are they going through? Maybe they're going through the same thing you are right now, right? And who's the one or what's the one person or client experiencing right now that could use your support? And so then [00:19:00] once you turn that outward, then that's a great time.
[00:19:04] Melissa: To create your action plan and do it right. So once you've powered up and you feel energized and you feel that shift then, and you're feeling purposeful and determined, right, and you feel those creative ideas coming through, I'm just looking at my notes. I wanna ask, I want you to ask yourself, what is the most important marketing or outreach or connection activities that I could do today?
[00:19:35] Melissa: And think about three ways that will create connection. Number one, that will, number two, serve your people, and number three, allow you to make an offer for someone to work with you. Right. So that's how we build up the stamina, [00:20:00] build up this re this resilience. Grit to keep showing up in our marketing.
[00:20:06] Melissa: It all starts inside. It all starts with the inside work and then goes to the outside, right? That's how we take it from the inside. We create that connection. We overcome those doubts, we answer back those doubts, right? And then we feel that energy shift. And if you fall back and get into, doubt and fear.
[00:20:34] Melissa: You just repeat this process over and over, right? You build that belief up again. You let, you can write out all the doubts, come up with a argument for the defense, for every single one of them. Pretend you're the lawyer in the the courtroom, right? And, and then you do that until you feel that energy shift, and then you think about the people that you serve.
[00:20:55] Melissa: Think about the work that you do and the power of that work. And [00:21:00] then that will spark those ideas, right? And you have to repeat it as much as needed. Some days, you know, I can get up in the morning, do this work in the morning, and I'm ready to roll for the day. And some days it's like I have to do it, you know, multiple times, minute by minute is like, okay, I'm fighting the doubt today.
[00:21:24] Melissa: And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with it. Don't resist it. Just overcome it. Right? Okay. And then so then we reinforce our mindset daily. I'm trying to get it straight. We reinforce our mindset daily. And so this is the cherry on the cake. The cherry on top of the, the sundae, right, is at the end of each day.
[00:21:51] Melissa: You can lock in the growth and the growth in your stamina, the growth in your resilience, the growth in [00:22:00] your grit by doing one thing before you go to bed. You're gonna make a list. You're gonna list out three wins for the day. It could be personal, could be business. Sometimes the win, the win is I can, I woke up today or I have breath in my lungs, right?
[00:22:22] Melissa: Sometimes the win is, I made a bunch of money today and you know, I signed on new clients. Whatever the win is, list three of them. Then I also want you to list three joys of your day and three things you're grateful for. And at the very least, your three wins. But if you really wanna turbo, you know your progress.
[00:22:49] Melissa: Do your three wins, your three joys and your three gratitudes, and then you get to lay your head on the pillow at night, feeling like a winner, [00:23:00] feeling joyful, and feeling gratitude, which are very high vibration. Feelings, energy, and you get to go to sleep that way. I have a a lot of clients that do this and they swear by it.
[00:23:13] Melissa: They I have had clients tell me they sleep better, so which I can understand. I do this every single night at, at the very least, I'll do my three wins, and then it's beautiful because you get to go back on Friday or Saturday whenever you look back and evaluate your week. You get to go back through all the wins of the week and pick out your top three or five for the whole week.
[00:23:37] Melissa: And then at the end of the month when you're evaluating your month, you can go back and look at all the wins from all the weeks. And it really helps you to see the progress. It helps to build this stamina, build this resilience, and keep you gritty, right? So so as we wrap up, if you put this process and these seven [00:24:00] steps into practice, you will grow in your stamina and your resilience and your grit.
[00:24:07] Melissa: Not only for the fourth quarter, but for all the quarters after that. You will show up and create connection because you'll be connected and compassionate with yourself first, and then connected and authentic when you go out and market and talk to people. Right. Because you're real. You're real with yourself.
[00:24:33] Melissa: And when you're real with yourself, you can be real with others. You're so welcome. Thank you. Thanks, Monique. And then your capacity to do hard things will grow, which means you can show up in bigger ways. You can your marketing capability and your energy will be much more effective. Right. [00:25:00] And you will be able to tap into your infinite energy.
[00:25:04] Melissa: I believe that the, this connection and this aliveness, this realness helps us to tap into that infinite energy that we all have inside of us. And as a beautiful consequence, your business will grow your clients. Your attraction of clients will grow. People will want to be in your space, in your energy, in your world, because of this connection, because of the realness, because you are in touch with the hard and also the joy.
[00:25:43] Melissa: And that's how you go out into the world and that's how you can show up just as yourself, just as who you are and show up powerfully. It's very attractive, right? And so if you would love a space to [00:26:00] be heard and seen no matter what, no matter what's going on in your life and in your business, if you want that mindset of stamina and resilience and grit.
[00:26:11] Melissa: To make Q4 successful and all the quarters after that, and plus the strategy to to actually what? To, to know what to actually do as a result. The actual marketing things to do. Right. I wanna invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me. I would love to. Be with you. Hear all about what's going on in your life and your business, and help you to really connect with your stamina, your resilience, the grit I know you have inside you.
[00:26:46] Melissa: And then let's develop a plan to really get you into action to make Q4 great and all the quarters after that. And also, I am gonna be [00:27:00] back here each week teaching you another marketing power up. On Wednesday morning, same time, same place. And so I hope you join me. I loved having you all here. Thank you so much for being here and for all of you that catch this in replay hashtag replay, thank you for being here as well.
[00:27:19] Melissa: And as always if you have any questions, comments, please feel free to, reach out to me. Either post them with this video or you can direct message me anytime. Reach out to me anytime. Also, I'm going to put the link, if you would like to schedule a des a discovery call, I'm gonna put that link in the chat.
[00:27:43] Melissa: Copy the link. Leila, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate, I appreciate you and you're so welcome. I'm so glad you came today and so I hope this was helpful and meaningful to you. And I [00:28:00] want to just let you know, I believe in you. I believe in the work that you're doing in the world, and I want to support you in that.
[00:28:10] Melissa: So whatever way I can support you, I'm here for that. I will be here showing up for you each week, and I'm also here for you one-on-one. I would love to meet with you personally and give you the hope. And give you the support, the marketing support that you need to grow your business, grow yourself, become the CEO and the entrepreneur that you dream of.
[00:28:34] Melissa: All right? Okay, friends, I gotta go. I have a client call coming up and I'm so excited to see her. But I'm gonna go prepare and I hope you all have a fabulous rest of your day, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
[00:28:51] Melissa Kellogg Lueck: Hey, if you like this podcast, I wanna invite you to become part of my community. The link is in the show notes. Each Friday, I'm gonna deliver [00:29:00] to your inbox my weekly celebration, as well as my thoughts on the latest and business and marketing. I wanna keep you in the know about my upcoming events.
[00:29:09] Melissa Kellogg Lueck: Free trainings, book clubs, all the fun things, even some free gifts. And of course, I'm gonna let you know about these new podcast episodes. I'll see you there.
