ļ»æEp. 110 - Top 10 Networking Faux Pas
Melissa: [00:00:00] Welcome. I am marketing expert and business coach. Melissa Kellogg-Lueck. And this is the Doing Business like a woman podcast, where we are exploring and teaching you how women are reinventing the way business is done and money is made to help you create greater impact and financial freedom, one business at a time.
Well, hello. Hello, ladies. How's it going? Hope you're having a fabulous day. I am enjoying a Friday and it's been a great Friday. A fry. Yay. I, um, got up this morning and went and got my hair done. So that's always fun. Um, unfortunately it's windy here, so that kind of messed things up, but, um, and just recorded a podcast as a guest on another woman's podcast and she is amazing.
And so I can't wait to share that with you in the next few weeks when it is released and. yeah, so it's been a fabulous morning so far, and so I hope your day has been great as well. I want to continue on our series, our theme really of talking about networking, which, um, maybe I won't even use that word because some people.
Don't like networking. And I think a lot of women I talk to don't like networking just because it's called networking. And I don't know, there's a lot of pressure behind it or whatever. But, I want to talk about connecting and having conversations with other people that may refer you to clients or become clients themselves.
So however you think about that. Um, it's a really the preferred and [00:02:00] great way and very cost efficient way to, uh, build your business in the beginning. So if you have not yet Gotten to the six figure mark you're in the early years or early stages of your business. Networking is a really great way to get your message out to really build that know, like, and trust factor very easily and quickly because people can.
Look you in the eye, shake your hand, uh, connect with you personally, uh, even if you are networking online. So you can have that one on one kind of connection with another human. And so it really is the best method, quickest method, I believe, to, uh, building a business in those early years. Uh, before you are ready to, you know, pay for ads and build fancy funnels and build fancy freebies and all of that, uh, networking, connecting with other humans in a, an individual way is the easiest, quickest path to success.
to building a business. So, I want to talk more about that today and have a little fun because we're going to talk about the top 10 Networking. faux pas. My French teacher would probably roll over in her grave if she heard me pronounce it like that, but the top 10 faux pas, and I want to present it in the classic David Letterman style where we count down from 10.
And, um, I don't really have these in a particular order. I guess number one would probably really be the number one top faux pas. [00:04:00] Uh, so we'll go with that, but the rest of the other ones, and I even have a couple of bonus because I was, creating this episode and the list just kept going. So I have a couple of bonus ones for you too, that we'll get to, uh, after we do the number one So let's get started with our top 10 list.
the top 10 networking faux pas that I see that I've actually experienced all of these. So, you know, full disclosure, um, these are what I most commonly see, but I've also done all of them. So there you go. Um, so number 10, the top 10, uh, networking faux pas is. Going too fast too soon.
And so what that means in my book is if you've been around me for very long, you know, I like to think of, uh, networking is, um. Kind of creating relationships with other humans in a business sense is oftentimes like dating, right? And so we have all been in those situations where we have met someone and they are interested in us and they're trying to just.
Push us along into, you know, moving our romantic relationship along faster than we want to. And so it's like they're coming on too strong, right? And oftentimes in networking, we can do the same thing where we're coming on too strong, going too fast, too soon. Um, so, you know, if you've ever been to a networking event where you maybe meet an insurance agent and I'm not picking on the insurance agents, uh, as you know, like I said, I've done all of these too, but, you know, the insurance agent that wants to schedule you for an insurance review right there at the chamber meeting.
Right? Or, the, uh, makeup representative that wants [00:06:00] to schedule a party right then and there. And it's like, I'm just not ready for that, right? I'm it's too much too fast. So that is something always be aware of the cadence of a relationship. And yes, we can have. our thinking about how a relationship, a business relationship should be built, but also just be tuned in to the person, the energy of the conversation.
Like, I think we can really have more awareness around that and so highly suggest that and and so just maybe what you suggest in going to the next step based on, you know, the comfort level that you're feeling. Okay. The number nine of the top 10 networking faux pas is walking into a room with the energy of getting or signing a client.
Have you ever done that? I know I have, and it's so easy, right? Because if you're hungry and you got to pay the bills. Then, yeah, you want to find your next client at that function. Like this is why we go out networking, right? To make, find clients and sign clients and make money. Well, no, that's not why we do, we'll get to that later.
But if you walk into a room with the energy of getting or signing a client, the most likely thing to happen is that you won't. So just don't do that. Right. Um, there's a story that one of my coaches tells about. How she was at an event, a networking event with 250 people, a big networking event and the organizer, um, from the stage said, okay, everyone who's here trying to sell something, raise your hand and, 99 percent of the people in the room raised their hand.
Maybe it was close to 100, right? 99. [00:08:00] 9 people in the room, raise their hand. They're there to try to sell something. And he said, okay, now put your hands down who here in the room is here to buy something. And one person raised their hands, right? So if we all are going into a room trying to sell and there's no buyers, it's just not work, it doesn't work, right?
So there's gotta be a better way. Right. So don't walk into the room with the energy of getting or trying to sign a client. That's not the point of networking. Um, so the number eight top 10 networking faux pas is this thought that clients are everywhere. Now, I'm sure that I have thought this, I know I have thought this, this is something I love thinking, like clients are everywhere, right?
Um, and I'm sure I've, you know, maybe advised my own clients to, to think that clients are everywhere. And yes, it's true. But thinking that clients are everywhere can, I think, hierarchical energy. Like, I'm going to come and save you or come and get you, right? But really the energy that we want to be in is, is this energy of humans are everywhere, right?
Fellow humans that are interesting and that we love are all around us. And some of them, we might actually be able to help. And when we hear something or someone have a concern or have a problem that we might be able to help them solve, Then we let them know, Hey, listen, I might be able to help you with that.
Right. But thinking clients are everywhere, I think it gives us kind of this hierarchical energy that is not. Attractive and [00:10:00] not, it doesn't feel good to be around that. Right. Like that. Uh, I'm, I need to be helped or fixed. Right. People don't like to be with people that think they need to be fixed.
Right. So just have some awareness on that and. So the number seven top 10 networking faux pas is making connections, really great connections, having really great conversations, collecting cards, collecting contact information, and never following up. Have you done this? I have done this and I, it makes me feel awful truthfully.
And so Don't do it, like create a system that works for you. And if you create something and it doesn't work, you don't have to shame yourself to say, oops, this does not working. Let's, let's change it up. So, uh, we always want to be following up, right? Because Uh, when we make a connection with someone, we collect their contact information.
We don't follow up that automatically is a hit to our trust factor, right? And we know that even if they go about their lives and never remember ever meeting us, we know that we didn't follow up. And so it's a ding to our trust in ourselves. And they're, and it's a ding if they do remember and we never follow up, then it's a ding there too.
I remember going to this, speed networking event here in my local area. And I went a few times and, um, you go and you, meet a whole bunch of people. You could, you know, meet upwards of 50 people in one, Networking, session that you go to or one event. [00:12:00] And it's a really great way to meet a lot of people.
And I met a lot of people and collected lots of business cards. And I would come back to my office and I would diligently send all of them, every single one of them, a personal email. And I don't know what it is about this event, but, um, I remember that I would just be astonished because like one of them would reply to my email and, you know, maybe I was coming at it in an energy of getting or signing a client.
I don't know. So it could be my fault too, but I was just always astonished. You know, most times when I go to a networking function, and I meet people and I follow up, I will hear back from them, um, from a majority of them, right? Like, you're always going to have people that don't reply to email or whatever.
but this 1 event, um, I would go to and not hear back from anybody that I reached out to. So I always thought that was a strange, So that's definitely a faux pas because what happens is that becomes a waste of your time. It becomes a waste of your money if you paid to go to the event and it puts a ding in your trust with yourself and the trust of others.
In you, right? So if you're going to go to a networking function, if you're going to collect contact information and say, um, I'll follow up with you, make sure you do it, right? Just make that your policy.okay. The number 6 of our top 10 networking faux pas is in the same vein, following up. You do great follow up.
You say, let's go have coffee. We go have coffee and chat or have a zoom coffee, zoom chat, whatever. And then you fail to grow and failing to grow the relationship from there, just like, and I've done this, so I'm going to talk about myself, um, [00:14:00] having coffee, having a great conversation and saying, oh, we, you know, uh, it was really great to connect with you.
I'll see you later. It just kind of an abrupt end. Right. Um, and a lot of times for me, it happens not. Intentionally, like, not like I'm like, okay, I'm intentionally just gonna, you know, drop this relationship from here. I think it just comes from not intentionally thinking, you know, or talking to the other person about, okay, You know, where do we go from here?
Or would you like to, you know, come to this other networking event with me, or would you like to blah, blah, blah, and, and suggesting the next step in the relationship. And I think for me, that has been when I've fallen down in this area, it's because I kind of forget to have intention.
But if I just make it a policy that any conversation I have, any meeting I have, Any interaction I have with someone I'm building a business relationship with my policy is to always talk about what's our next step, right? What is our next step? And, um, maybe not in those exact words, but just like, okay, you know, what's next thinking for myself?
What's next for us? And then making that suggestion and seeing where it goes from there. But not doing that is again. A faux pas and it also makes the time that you're spending and money that you're spending having these coffee dates. Having these chats, making these phone calls, um, it makes that all a waste.
If you're not continuing to grow the relationship, we want to continually be thinking about the time and the money that we spend. As an investment, an investment that we [00:16:00] want. Under a return on right now, it doesn't have to be a financial return, but a return in terms of growth growth for ourselves growth for our business growth for the relationship.
Right? So, uh, I, I really just love thinking about that. That ROI, like what is the return on the, um, time and money that I'm investing? How can I grow this relationship? so that's number six. Okay. So the number five top 10 networking faux pas is promising to connect people and then failing to follow up, failing to do it.
Um, and I know these three here in this. You know, this 567 are all about follow up. And, um, because follow up has been a challenge for me, just full disclosure. Um, I am a, you know, this visionary kind of personality. Like I always have grand plans, grand ideas. And sometimes the execution of them is where I fall apart.
And so I know that about myself. And. In networking. This is where my follow through has fallen apart in follow up. And so I wanted to bring this up and just make sure, um, because it's been a struggle for me, it might be a struggle for you, but follow up is, you know, I have, uh, a coach that says fortune is in the follow up.
Right. So I think about that all the time. Like when I, you know, the, the time to follow up comes up on my calendar and I'd rather go and. Scroll Facebook or do something else. I always remember what she says that fortune is in the follow up. So keep following up, right? Not in a way of like pestering people, but just being the person that does what she says she's going to [00:18:00] do.
Right that creates trust helps us to create trust in ourselves, and it helps us to create trust with those that were promising to follow up with and promising things to you. Right. Um, okay. So the number 4 of our top 10 networking faux pas. Is failing to keep track, and keep metrics of your networking and setting goals and measuring and experimenting.
So, uh, for a lot of entrepreneurs that I see networking is just kind of like the shot in the dark type thing. You go to an event or you go to a Facebook group or you go to a zoom networking event and you just think, oh, I'm just going to be here and see what happens. Well, yes, that's fine. However, that's not where growth is.
Uh, whatever gets measured gets improved, right? Whatever we measure, we improve. So if you want to be better at bringing in new opportunities, bringing in new clients into your business, you need to keep track of what's happening at all of these networking functions, networking activities that you're doing, whether it's online or in person.
So if you're going to spend an hour meeting people on LinkedIn, for example, you need to keep track of what you're doing. And what you're creating, what are the results that you're creating with that? Again, time investment, right? So, you know, keep track, have a system where you can, and this can be a spreadsheet.
I don't know if some people don't like spreadsheets, you know, I'm a spreadsheet person. I love spreadsheets. I had my entire, uh, you know, coaching business on a spreadsheet. That was my, Literally in my Google, sheets, the, the spreadsheet was called my CRM. I just decided to start my own CRM and it was just a spreadsheet where I would list everybody that I met and I would put, [00:20:00] you know, whether it was their phone number or their email address, right?
So I could have it right there, easy to find. And I would, uh, I had it color coded, um, in terms of. You know, if this was a potential, if, you know, partner that we had talked about referring business or a collaboration, or if it was a potential client, and, I would keep a note in there about what was our next step.
And, um, so I use that to keep track of the people that I was. Connecting with, uh, but I also kept track of how many people I was meeting, how many of those people, you know, those connections, those relationships resulted in, um, consultation calls for coaching. And, so that I knew I could begin to reverse engineer my success, right?
So I knew if I wanted to, if my goal was to Um, I don't know. Let's see. So I have 5, 000 in revenue in a month. For example, I knew that I had to sign, you know, I don't know, whatever it was 2 clients or 4 clients or whatever in order to sell four clients. I needed to be doing, um, 8 consultation calls in order to be.
Scheduling 8 consultation calls, I needed to be meeting. You know, 25 new people a month or whatever. Um, and the only way I knew those numbers is because I tracked. What I was doing and what I was creating from the people I was meeting and, um, setting goals and then experimenting and saying, oh, well, if I, you know, if I got better at doing consultations, then maybe I would only have to schedule.
You know, 7 or 6, um, and so, [00:22:00] so that is an error that I see a lot of people make is not keeping track and going and investing time and money into networking and not having intention behind it. Not that you have to have these like creepy goals like we talked about earlier, right? We don't want to walk into a room with this energy of getting, um, but just for me as an introvert, it helps.
Push me out of my comfort zone and be like, okay. You know, I have to meet and have a, have a meaningful conversation with at least 1 or 2 people. Otherwise I might just like, you know, be a wallflower. I know, you know, some people that know me would think that's hard to believe, but in the early days of networking, it, it has and sometimes it still is like, I have to talk myself into getting out of the car and going into the event where I might not know anybody.
That having these goals of, okay, I just going to talk to one person, having a, have a meaningful conversation with one person that creates intention. That is a goal, right? And then I can begin to just track that. And then, you know, after a while, maybe my goal is to talk to two people and it really helps us to keep improving, getting better, and making the time and money then that we spend connecting with others, fruitful for our own growth and the growth of our business.
Okay. Kind of went on long on that one, but I think it's really great practice. Okay. So the number three of our top 10 networking faux pas number three is thinking one to one and not thinking about scaling. So if you've been in business for a while and, um, you kind of are ready to [00:24:00] go to this 200 level, this next level of networking, I encourage you to think about How you can start making your network working more of a one to many type when you're meeting people.
So, if we go back to the beginning, like, our definition of networking is connecting with other people, connecting and having conversations with. New people, right? So for me, one to one, like, you know, going to a networking function and meeting one or two people. That was really a huge growth for me in the beginning, but there comes a point where.
You know, you need to be meeting more people and so you can think about what are ways that I can meet a greater number of people. If I go to this 1 event, I can talk to all the people there or if I show up in this Facebook group, you know, I can have conversations with more than just 1 person at a time.
So what could that look like? That could look like, you know, For in person networking, maybe some, um, organizations or events have sponsorships where you can sponsor the event and have a few minutes in front of the room. So you're there for 1 event and you get to talk to everybody in the room at once, or, you know, a speaking engagement, maybe they, uh, invite speakers and you could be a speaker or, maybe the Facebook communities that you're part of have, Opportunities to do Facebook lives or to do trainings, or they also can sometimes have sponsorships where you can sponsor and have an opportunity to host a Facebook live in the community.
Um, so just think about when you have, when you can take advantage of those [00:26:00] opportunities to speak to. The entire room rather than just one person at a time. So, um, so yeah, that's kind of the next level and scaling up when you go to making each, event or each networking or connecting opportunity, even more impactful for you and for the people that are there.
So the number two, top 10 networking faux pas is being a seller. At a event or in a Facebook group in a networking opportunity, the faux pas is being the seller when you really want to show up as a buyer. If you remember the story I talked about earlier, the story of the event with 250 people and all of them raised their hands, they had something to sell something and only one person raised their hand.
They had something to, they were there to buy something. Well, if you have put yourself in the mindset of being a seller or being a buyer, instead of a seller, you automatically instantly stand out from everyone else there. Right. And so what that means is when you sell up, set, show up as a buyer, and you're in this energy of not needing to buy and not needing to sell, but wanting, if you came across something that was suited your fancy, right?
So if we go back to our dating example, it's like, it's like when you're dating, if you're dating, say 10 people at the same time, And one person, one of them doesn't like text you in whatever, whatever period of time you thought they should or would like, you've got these other nine people that you're paying attention to.
You don't even notice what that 10th person [00:28:00] is or isn't doing right. And so it's like, you don't have this need, this like desperation.when you show up as a buyer in this mindset of not needing anything, then it's a completely different energy. You'll stand out from everyone else in the room, number one, and you'll have so much more interest in other people. Right? That curiosity normally comes out just naturally comes out. because you're not trying to, you know, convince or, um, prove that you are the best or not the best in the room or whatever.
You're curious in what other people are selling, right? And that curiosity is very attractive. So, show up as a buyer, whether you're literally a buyer or not, it doesn't matter. Okay. But if you have that natural curiosity, um, you will be. You will stand out, right? And then the number one top 10 networking faux pas is not understanding the point of networking.
So. You'll probably have guessed what I'm going to say here. So the point is not to sell anything. So when you go into a Facebook group, when you walk into a networking function in person, when you log on to a zoom networking, you're not there to sell. If you think you're there to sell, you don't understand the point of networking and the energy that you bring is just not attractive to clients and to new business and to new opportunity.
So, so I really want to drill this point home. The point of networking, the point of going out and [00:30:00] meeting other humans. And connecting and talking to them is to allow them to get to know you is to meet other people, practice saying, you know, practice, um, talking to people about, What their needs are and and building relationships, connecting with other people, human to human and getting to know them and finding common ground and deciding if you want to get to know them further in that kind of buyer mentality.
Right? You're there to be curious, to get to know other humans, connect with other business people. If you sell to business people, connect to other humans, wherever you go, you can connect to other humans. You can meet humans in the grocery store, you can meet humans, uh, in on LinkedIn, you can meet humans at networking events, right?
But everywhere you go, there's humans and just practice connecting with other people and just enjoying conversation. And inevitably it will come back to, you know, so tell me more about you. And what you do, and then it gives you an opportunity to share what you do and and you've already created that connection.
And I think for us, as women, this is a very natural progression for us to be curious about other people and then when they are. When they sense our curiosity, they become curious and they ask us about us. And then we get a chance to share about that. But, um, networking is not about selling. It's only about meeting other humans and.
Deciding [00:32:00] which ones that you want to get to know more and then building a relationship building business relationships. And so that is our number 1 top 10 networking faux pas is not understanding the point of networking. So I know. Now, since you've made it this far in this episode, that that faux pas is no longer one of yours, right?
I know I have been guilty of going to networking events thinking, I've got to find a client. I've got to find a lead. I've got to, you know, and that, and I totally missed the point. And when we do that, uh, it, it usually ends up to be fruitless. So, okay. I have two bonus ones. So the first bonus. faux pas is talking more than you're listening.
So when you go into a networking opportunity with the thinking that you're there to sell something or you're there to get something or there to talk somebody into going to the next step with you, You end up talking more than you're listening. So that's always a really great indicator for me of like, what is the energy I'm in?
Am I trying to talk someone into something? And if I'm talking more than I'm listening, then that's usually what's happening. So if you just have that awareness of. Am I talking more than I'm listening? And if so, just stop talking. Stop talking and ask a really great question, a curious question. And just, it's a very, it's a very simple switch to make of You know, when I catch myself talking more than I'm listening, I just switch back to curiosity.
Oh, so, you know, what am I curious about? I asked myself that question and then I will [00:34:00] communicate that curiosity ask. The person I'm talking to another question, right? So that's a faux pas is talking more than you're listening. Um, the other faux pas is making assumptions, false assumptions about people that you meet.
we have human brains and so sometimes we make assumptions and so it's completely normal. Um, but sometimes we'll assume, you know, oh, this person would never be interested in what I have to offer. So, why am I going to waste my time talking to them? I know that sounds terrible. I'm embarrassed to say it, but, um, I don't really do that anymore.
Right? So, um. But we're human and this can happen. So just catch yourself. If you, you know, did I make an assumption about this person? Because literally you never know. And I have story upon story of people that I assumed were one thing and they were something totally different, um, or assumed they were not the kind of person I wanted to talk to and just, you know, continue talking to them anyway, and, and did that.
Having a really great conversation and connection. And, so I, I remember when I used to work in restaurants in the early, early days of my business, I would, I worked as a hostess and did some bartending and stuff and, um, Uh, in, and that's when I was living and working in the Vail Valley area here in Colorado, and you would see people come in that, you know, you would.
Assume are, um, just very normal people. And then, you know, they would leave the restaurant and the manager, the owner would say, oh, that was so and so some really famous person or, you know, and, um, so you never know who you will run into out and [00:36:00] about in the world. So never assume, um, And so that is my, my bonus.
those are my two bonus faux pas for you. So I'm going to go through the list just to summarize. And so our top 10 networking faux pas number 10 is going too fast, too soon. Number nine, walking into a room with the energy of getting or signing a client. Number eight, thinking clients are everywhere and you are there to save them, right?
Uh, number seven, making connections, collecting cards, and never following up. The number six top 10 networking faux pas is following up, having a follow up coffee or chat, and then failing to go to the next step or grow the relationship from there. Right number 5 promising to connect people with each other or with resources and then failing to follow up on that number for failing to keep track, keep metrics, set goals and measure and experiment with your networking activities.
Number three, thinking one to one and not thinking about scaling or one to many. Number two, networking faux pas is being the seller when you really want to show up as a buyer. And the number one, top 10 networking faux pas is not understanding the point of networking. The point is to meet other humans, Get to know them, find common ground, and decide if you want to get to know them further and see where it goes from there.
Right? Okay, so this is kind of a fun take on talking about networking. I hope it was helpful to you. I hope you have a fabulous rest of your day, your week, [00:38:00] and I look forward to seeing you next time. Bye! Hey, if you like this podcast, I would love for you to become a part of my community. Sign up for my Friday celly. The link is in the show notes, and each Friday I'm gonna deliver to your inbox, my weekly celebration. I. As well as my thoughts on the latest in business and marketing, and I wanna keep you in the know about my upcoming events, free trainings, free gifts, book clubs, all the fun things.
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