What to Do When You’ve Fallen Short...It’s Not What You Think
Today I want to talk about what happens when you fall short.
As you know, we just wrapped up Q3 and are launching into Q4. Many of us are thinking about our goals and evaluating. That's all very important but what happens when you fall short?
I can totally relate to this because I have fallen short. I haven't reached my annual goal, I haven't reached my quarterly goal, I haven't reached my September goal. And even this week has been crazy as I've had a sick kiddo at home and haven’t hit my weekly targets. So in pretty much all areas I'm feeling like I’m falling short.
I want to share with you how I move through this because when we are feeling this way we can get stuck there and not use it in a generative fashion. If you can relate, this exercise is for you.
Step #1: Thought Download. When I'm feeling like I'm falling short or have fallen short what I do first is take 5-10 minutes to get all of my feelings and thoughts out on paper. Write whatever comes to mind, not trying to put any filters or positivity or anything. I just dump it all out of my head onto the page. Usually these downloads are very dramatic; like “everything's going downhill,” “my business is failing,” “I'm failing here,” “I'm failing there,” “everything is just awful.” That's okay.
Allow it all because this part of you is that Primal, scared, fearful part of you that wants to be heard. So we give her her airtime. It's like when you have a little kiddo that's fallen down and skins her knee and all she wants is to sit on your lap and for you to hold her as she cries. She's maybe a little scratched up but she just wants you to hold her and tell her it's going to be okay. So I want you to do this now, let all the thoughts out, let her sit on your lap and whine and cry and complain and all the things.
Step #2: Sit in the feelings. After you’ve downloaded all the thoughts; sit there with those thoughts and feelings for as long as it takes. Make sure you get them all out and just listen and be in those feelings. Just feel all those feelings for a moment, don't try to rush on to the next thing or rush into positivity or rush into changing them.
Your greatest power is to be able to feel any emotion and see it as just that...a feeling - like failure, disappointment, shame - and still love and support yourself and your business and carry on. Most people don’t do hard things because of the fear of falling short and the emotions that result.
Step #3: A shift will begin to happen. When you feel like you’re ready to shift, I want you to ask yourself “what would LOVE say about this situation?” Just like when you have your little scraped up girl in your lap what would you as a loving mother say to her? This is such a wonderful question and always creates such a shift for me. It’s so generative. When I did this the other day when I was kind of freaking out about my results and not meeting my goals, what began to come up was a recounting of all the growth (non-monetary), how I have done an amazing job this month and created unbelievable results managing impossibly tough situations, and creating incredible momentum.
And as I continue to let love speak, I start to feel a change happening, a change that's much more generative and loving and away from shame and criticism. When I approach myself with that love and compassion falling short is not a big deal! If you know you have your own back, you’re able to go bigger and feel safer doing it. We're going to be falling short, that's just part of life, it's part of entrepreneurship, it’s part of setting goals. This is such a much more generative exercise than beating ourselves up about all the things we didn't do and where we fell short.
Remember, non-constructive criticism is NOT going to make you better, it's not going to help you, it's not going to urge you on. We think it is but approaching yourself with love and compassion and fierce self support is what actually gets you motivated and excited and determined to keep going, to take the next step, to turn the page on this month, and this quarter; get back out there and go for it again! I encourage you to give it a try!
If you feel like self-criticism is holding you back from moving forward boldly in your business, let’s talk about it. Hit reply and reach out. We can get on a call where you can tell me what’s happening and I can walk you through to greater self-support and clarity in your business.
Let’s have a fabulous fourth quarter!
Cheers,
Melissa
P.S. Ready to talk about how to improve your Q4 results? I invite you to coach one-on-one with me; I can help you with the mindset and strategies to reach your goal! Grab a spot on my calendar and I’d love to learn more about you and your business and offer you the clarity and focus to see your business and marketing in a new way that improves your results. And regardless of whether we decide to work together or not, investing the time and having expert eyes on your business is priceless!
